Haunted by a past and haunted by not having a past…

Synopsis

His past is forgotten…
Can his mysterious healer unlock his future?

When Royce wakes with no memories and suddenly blind, his situation seems dire. The only thing he remembers is being attacked by shadowy figures…but not the beautiful woman who came to his rescue. Now Iona MacKenzie’s every touch drives Royce wild. But when news of a manhunt for him reaches them, Royce must uncover his past if he has any chance of saving himself—and the woman he’s falling for…

My review

Iona MacKenzie is living rather secluded on the little island of Lismore. People are wary of her, claiming her even of being a witch, yet they do not hesitate to ask for her help as a healer when needed.
When one night she sees men picking over what appears to be dead body, Iona doesn’t hesitate to chase those thieves away. And to her utterly shock, she realizes that the man left behind isn’t dead at all.
She nurses him until he gains back his conscious, only for the both of them to realize that the man has lost his sight and his memory. He only remembers being attacked and that perhaps his name may be Royce…
With Iona by his side, Royce tries to remember anything about his life, especially when there now appears to be a manhunt for him. It’s a race against the clock to not only uncover his past and saving himself, but also the woman who stands by his side in the darkest moments… 

The blurb of this story intrigued me immediately. One of the main characters not only losing his sight but also his memory, it for sure seems a recipe for an exciting reading session for me! 

As a reader, and also as the title says it, Royce is a laird. He is determined to discover the truth about what happened to his younger sister Violet twenty years ago. (Don’t worry, this isn’t a spoiler, as this is told in the prologue!).
Obviously, it didn’t come as a total surprise that his quest didn’t go as planned, as Royce ends up on the Lismore shore, left behind for dead. 

I can only try to imagine the terror of waking up and realize that your sight is lost. To make things even worse, not even remembering who you are or what you are doing.
Even if I haven’t been in either of those situations myself, I can somehow understand the frustration and the anger of feeling helpless. 

Luckily for our Laird, Iona comes to the rescue. From her behaviour I could see why the people around her would call her a witch, but it was also rather unfair. Just because someone is living secluded, hiding, is a healer and is tormented by her past, doesn’t mean that she is a witch. It was also rather mean, as they avoid her as much as she avoids them, but when they need her healing expertise, they ask her for help… 

Yet how can you not like Iona? She not only rescues Royce from the men in first instance, she also does whatever she can to bring him back to health. And even later on, once he regained consciousness, she keeps on helping him out.
Iona is the kind of character that does good not because of an ulterior motive, but because she is good herself. And even when she doesn’t know what to do, she listens to the voice in her head/heart, directing her to do always right… 

Both Iona and Royce have their own baggage, Iona with a past that scarred and scared her, and Royce a past that he doesn’t know.
Yet it found it utterly sweet to see how these two somehow haunted characters found each other in a dark moment.
With Royce not knowing his past, the bond between Iona and him is a genuine one. and him not seeing, makes it easier for Iona to open up. 

I truly liked seeing Iona and Royce together, with Iona trying to help out Royce, with making him feel useful in her house, and Royce adamant on not being only a burden to Iona.
And while neither of them truly know Royce’s background, I admired Ioan’s protectiveness towards this complete stranger in her house, while there are people on a manhunt for him. 

There are so many sweet moments in this book too, intentional or not. Iona and Royce getting closer was absolutely one of them, but also Jack’s antics for sure gave me a few ‘aaaw’ moments! 

I have to admit though, the reason for Royce being on his search, did ring a bell in my mind somewhere. But it took me a while to link all the clues together, only to be over the moon when I realized that I have actually read already what happened to Royce’s sister! 😊 

But what I loved the most in this story was that the author perfectly wrote down how the heart can make you see what is standing right in front of you, even when your eyes won’t cooperate. And that helping someone is always the right thing to do, as you’ll never know who you are helping, or how in the end it will also be helping you!
Kindness and love never go unrewarded, and this book for sure showed that!

When life doesn’t go your way, the only way is the way to home…

Synopsis

Jennifer McAndrew thinks she’s living her best life in London – wonderful man, great job, happily child-free. Except the ‘wonderful man’ turns out to have a secret that ruins everything…

Shocked and devastated, Jen doesn’t know what to do. So, she packs her bags and runs for the hills – away from her problems, all the way to her childhood home in Scotland and the safety of her dad.

But her dad is a changed man. Busy with his girlfriend, golf and G&Ts, he doesn’t have time for Jen’s worries. And she can’t see her sister, Isla, who she fell out with years ago.

So, Jen rekindles friendships with her old school pals, Alison and Rory. They’re juggling work and young families, but still find time to take her out and set her up with some terrible dates.

The more time she spends with Rory and his daughters, the more Jen thinks there could be something big missing from her life. But could she ever go back to small town life? And can she forgive what happened in the past? Should a good friend become something more?

The biggest question for Jen is – will she try to solve her problems, or will she cut and run for the hills again?

Another brilliant laugh out loud emotional read, perfect for fans of Fiona Gibson, Tracy Bloom and Sophie Ranald!

My review

Jennifer McAndrew is living the life in London. She loves her job, she loves her boss and is waiting patiently for him to be ready to make them being a couple public. That is until she discovers the hard way that her boyfriend/boss has been keeping secrets from her.
Now, with no job, no boyfriend and after a run to the A&E, Jennifer decides to pack her things and go back to Scotland, to her childhood home.
With her dad being more interested in his girlfriend, golf and G&T and having no contact anymore with her sister Isla, Jennifer rekindles her old friendships with Alison and Rory. And even their lives couldn’t be more different, both Alison and Rory always find ways to spend time with Jennifer.
And Jennifer may slowly realize that no matter how wonderful her life in London was, perhaps she was missing something bigger…
Could she possible be thinking about changing from a city – girl into a small town – girl? And what she was missing, could it be closer she ever imagined? 

This books starts with a good portion of Murphy’s Law… not only does Jennifer discover the truth about her relationship, it means also that she has to quit her job. To make things even worse, she ends up in A&E and what she thought might end in a great gesture, only ends in disappointment. And all the above give her no other option than returning to her childhood home all the way back in Scotland. 

I have to say, I liked it how Jennifer did the right thing when she discovers the truth. Although it breaks her heart, she knows where her boyfriend/boss has to be. And yes, even if she hopes for that great gesture, she knows deep down she is hoping in vain.
I liked it also how, despite her broken heart, she doesn’t exploit her situation. It would have been so easy to expose her boss or even demand for more money. Yet she only demands what is right, and the most admirable thing to do in that situation, asking him to leave her alone, allowing her to get over him.
Again it shows that Jennifer is not only a responsible and respectful person, but also a righteous one. 

Going back home, a place that holds so many sad memories for Jennifer, is not an easy thing to do. While we don’t know exactly what happened in the past, especially with her sister Isla, retuning back home, admitting somehow defeat, is never easy. 

Seeing Jennifer back in her former life, if we can say it like that, wasn’t only eye – opening for her, but also for me.
We all get to see what she left behind for a life in Glamour – London, even forgetting about those she left behind. But we also see how forgiving and welcoming her old friends can be.
I saw it like realizing once again that we only seme to remember the bad stuff that happened, forgetting about the lovely people and the good memories. 

Now, this is also absolutely a funny story!
We see Jennifer having a few dates, ending in disaster. And yes, it may be evil to find those bits funny, but who cares! 😊
But it was also amazing to see how she can make fun of those dates too, with her old friend Rory.  

I absolutely adored Jennifer and Rory spending time together. It was sweet to see how their friendship became such a strong one, where they can rely on each other. But not only that… Jennifer has never thought of having children, yet she manages perfectly to be around and look after and help Rory’s daughters. Talking about hidden talents! 😊  

Jennifer is not only changing her own vision of her hometown, but she is also reflecting on her own past choices, and is having a change herself.
She realizes what she has been missing, on several levels. Not only where she has been missing out, but also where perhaps she could have been making different choices. And while it may be too late to make a different choice, she sees that it’s never too late to make amends. 

We also see the real Jennifer resurfacing, as she is there when her friends need her, and even offer help and her knowledge to others.
Making her understand that not everything she thought she needed was to be found in London. 

I truly loved reading this story, as it was funny but also heartfelt. The author shows us that returning home isn’t always a bad things, as it will allow us to find what we have been missing in our lives. And she also shows us wonderfully that perhaps, we have been looking for something but it has always been there, right in front of us!

A scavenger hunt like you never seen before!

Synopsis

When Kiara is dumped by text and then ghosted by her boyfriend, she resolves to concentrate on her successful artist career and leave dating to those who can handle that heartbreak. 

But the chance to dress up as a teacup work of art and participate in a scavenger hunt at the New York City modern art museum to win her favorite artist’s painting has her pairing up with a stranger dressed as a Rembrandt. 

He may not know much about modern art, but he certainly knows how to make her heart beat. 

Can Kiara take a chance on love again?

My review

The last thing on Kiara’s mind is attending a scavenger hunt at the New York City modern art museum after not only being dumped by text by her boyfriend, but also being ghosted by him.
Her only focus will be on her own artistic career. But the opportunity to win her favourite artist’s painting is a too great opportunity to just let it pass.
Even if that means that she is being paired up with a stranger dressed as a Rembrandt, while Kiara herself is a teacup work of art.
Will this unlikely pair of strangers manage to win the painting, even if Rembrandt doesn’t know much about modern art? And what about the fact that this stranger makes Kiara’s heart beat a little bit faster? 

Okay, I have read several books of this amazing author, and I adored each and every one of them. So despite my fear of reading a novella that would be too short for my liking, I just had to read this story. 

And I didn’t regret it for one moment! Even if it’s still too short for my liking (I truly believe that the author would have managed to write a complete novel without boring her readers!), it was a wonderful, hilarious story. 

It’s very easy to like and even sympathize with a character like Kiara. There couldn’t be a worst way of getting dumped than by text (although, I still remember an episode of a certain series set in New York, where main character C. gets dumped over a post – it…). And not only that, add the horrendous fact of being ghosted too! 

I liked it how Kiara’s mood was also reflected in her artwork. Somehow that made her more real to mee, as it shows how normal people would react and how the pain reflects in their creations.
Even if I am not a modern art lover myself (sorry people, I just don’t get it…), I admired Kiara’s creativity, in not only her own artwork, but also in creating a marvellous costume! 

The scavenger hunt itself made me feel rather oblivious, as again, I don’t have a thing for modern art. In that notion, I felt myself more agreeing with Finn, the stranger, as he also felt like a fish out of the water.
But Finn for sure makes up his lack of knowledge with his determination and good spirits! 

While both Kiara and Finn are rather reluctant of meeting new people, with both their own reasons, and having their differences, it was just amazing to see how good along they get together.
And also reading how they just get each other… 

I truly loved reading this novella, and how Kathy Strobos managed to put so much of everything in a novella amazed me.
Having more chapters would obviously have been even greater than this novella, yet I cannot say I didn’t love the tale of Kiara and Finn.
A short novella that shows us that not only we can find what makes us heart beat faster at the most unexpected place or timing, but also how alike people can be even when they think otherwise, even if expressed in another way!

Best friends forever, but what if it’s not forever?

Synopsis

When Florence met Rowena, they knew for sure that they would always be friends.

Wayward parents, boring teachers, teenage crushes, first heartbreaks – anything and everything could be faced as long as Florence had Rowena by her side.

But then she didn’t.

And life had to be redrawn and reconsidered.

Being a grown-up has its perks, but as Rowena faces the biggest challenge of her life, and Florence wonders if it’s time to stop running away from hers, there’s a wise soul who knows the one thing that can help them both. Some friendships are meant to last forever, and it’s never too late for forever to start again.

Joyous and heart-breaking, laugh-out-loud funny, life-affirming and unforgettable, join Flo and Ro on a journey that will warm your heart and perhaps make you wonder about those old friends who knew you so well.

My review

Florence and Rowena grew up together, knowing that their friendship would last forever. Nothing could ever come between them. Until it did…
Now Florence is living back with her parents. But her parents have sold the house, and want Florence to stand on her own feet but also they want her to stop running away. Florence doesn’t know what to do, and suddenly inheriting a campervan from her old English teacher isn’t exactly giving her the answers she is looking for. Or is it?
Meanwhile Rowena is also going to a rough time, as she finds herself pregnant and alone.
For both women this would be where they would rely on their friendship, if it weren’t broken…
Yet with a little bit of help from an old teacher that sadly passed away, perhaps they can find the way to each other and forgiveness? 

I think it’s safe to say that when we were children, we all had that one friendship we were 100% certain would last a lifetime.
And while some lasted indeed a lifetime, some just didn’t, for several reasons.
So obviously I was very intrigued and wanted to discover how this strong friendship between Florence and Rowena ended and how it even pulled their lives in a total different direction. 

The focus is mainly on Florence, as I think I can say has been through the roughest times. We see her having a certain wanderlust, going from one place to another, never settling down.
But slowly we get to see it’s not her desire to explore places, but it’s her fear of staying at home to make her pack and leave every time. 

Through flashbacks we get to see how close Florence and Rowena were, how they would do anything for each other. we can easily say they were more sisters than just friends. They could rely on each other for just anything.
So the more I read about their wonderful friendship, the more I just needed to know why it broke and there were never attempts to build those bridges again. 

Once I knew what happened, it was easier for me to put the pieces on the complex puzzle together. Because while it could have been easy to rebuild again, the author shows us also how people work. It’s difficult to make the first move, as pride won’t allow us to get back what we desire. And the more time passes, the more difficult it gets. 

We see two characters that could have needed each other at pivotal moments in their lives, but found reasons/excuses to just not to…
Perhaps if they had each other, their lives would look totally different, with more support and more guidance even. But that’s how life goes, only one apparent small thing can have great effects. 

This book shows us how different our lives can go from what we expected or even dreamed of. People in our lives come and go, even those we love the most, even in the most terrible ways. And trust me on this, you will read passages that will just break your heart.
But we also see that there are people who have our best interest at heart, even an old English teacher that made an impact. 

However, most important of all, no matter how much time has passed, how out of touch you have been with your once – best – friend, if the feelings are genuine and real, it can take a small step to make you forget about those lost years.

An inheritance making a change possible

Synopsis

New starts and hopeful hearts…

At 25, Daisy May’s life is not living up to expectations. Her childhood dreams of being an artist feel as unachievable as a committed relationship or managing to save enough money for a deposit on a house. But a surprise inheritance could change all that.

After Daisy learns she’s now the new owner of a forty-foot narrow boat, she sets out for Wildflower Lock, where the fresh country breeze and the calm water is enough to assure her everything will be okay.

With the help of the ruggedly attractive, yet grumpy riverman, Theo, she begins to work on her new home, the September Rose. Can she breathe new life into the old boat and learn to navigate not only the canals themselves, but also the people who live there? Or will the whole venture pull her under?

My review

Daisy May is a 25 – years old young woman who feels that she is not living up her expectations. Her artistic dreams are as stored as far as possible, a committed relationship isn’t on the table, and we are not talking about how she cannot afford a place of her own.
Until she receives the news that she inherited from her grandfather, whom she only saw once in her life. An inheritance in the shape of a forty – foot narrow boat, in Wildflower Lock. The September Rose could be the answer to her prayers, only not in the way se thinks.
Because no matter if she thinks that selling the boat and the cash would help her, she finds herself more at home on the September Rose, and with the help of riverman Theo, the boat will return to its glory once again.
But will she be able to put the boat that feels like home for sale? Or will she have finally found a place to call home, with people who may be closer to her than thought… 

Isn’t it always intriguing having a story where the main character receives a mysterious inheritance? What would the inheritance be? And what would he/she do with it? Why did he/she receive the inheritance? And what other mysteries are waiting to be uncovered? 

This book for sure had my interest, as I was asking myself all the above questions. So without a doubt I just had to open it and discover the answers myself! 

At the start of this book, we can clearly see how close Daisy and her mother are. It’s always been them against the world, as Daisy’s father left them and never looked back.
And while that was sad to read, because no one deserves to be ignored by their father like that, it’s also clear that there is more to that story than Daisy actually knows. A feeling that only grows while getting more into the story and the more we see Daisy’s mother odd behaviour at moments.
And to make things even more suspicious, why would Daisy ever inherit the September Rose if the paternal side of her family never looked after her at all? 

I have to admit, for me, inheriting a boat would not be a great gift. I wouldn’t know how to live in it, to look after it, never mind renovating it!
Yet I could see how the September Rose would fit Daisy, even if she isn’t aware of it yet.  

Daisy starts as a real city – girl at the beginning of the book, but slowly we get to see how at easy she is on the boat.
And it was wonderful to see how there is a shift in Daisy, from a young woman with many disappointments in life, to a strong determined young woman to find the courage to dare to dream again, finding not only herself again, but also finding herself at home in the most unexpected place. 

Obviously this is only the start of the journey for Daisy, and she wouldn’t get to where she is now, without the help of her friends. Her old friends, but also new friends, like Theo. 

Theo for sure is the surprise of the book, as while there may be something simmering, we see the honestly and care of a real friendship growing.
Daisy finds a real friend in Theo, who helps her with not only the manual work, but is also there when she has the need to unload or when she just needs a shoulder to cry on. 

This book is, like I said, the start of a whole new journey for Daisy, where she discovers the truth about her family, which obviously shocks her. But she also has to find a way to overcome the feeling of betrayal, because in the end, the love she has is still there and is genuine.
But it’s also the journey about finding a home. A home, and not a house. Because a home is where you can just be yourself, where you can find your inner peace. And that doesn’t always come in the shape of a house, but in this case, in the shape of a boat. 

It’s a journey about finding yourself, daring to pick up your dreams again, even with trail and error. And it’s a wonderful journey to read about, even if the ending was rather abrupt, as I was expecting to read more chapters about Daisy and her quest.
But as this is clearly the start of a new series, I am already looking forward to the next trips of Daisy on the September Rose!

What to do with the unexpected gift of a wish?

Synopsis

Getting old might not be the bee’s knees, but Wilma Cooper isn’t ready to hang up her boots yet.

She’s a lot to look forward to in her golden years, not least the arrival of her first great-grandchild.

When blast from the past Gus Brown appears on her doorstep, Wilma’s over the moon to rekindle their friendship.

But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Wilma finds herself playing host to a rather unusual house guest. There’s a baby boom in town, but not all babies are created equal…

As Wilma grows closer to Gus, a happy ending looks on the cards. Until an unexpected caller threatens to throw a major spanner in the works.

With a wish up her sleeve and madness in the air, will Wilma find a second chance at love?

My review

Wilma Cooper is ready for the arrival of her great – grandchild. And for sure she won’t let her age stop her!
When her old friend Gus Brown appears on her doorstep, she couldn’t be more thrilled, as she always enjoyed his friendship.
But Gus isn’t the only one appearing on her doorstep, as her curiosity caused the appearance of a peculiar guest.
A guest with a special gift for Wilma. But what could Wilma ever wish for? 

Having read the previous parts of this series, I was wondering what else could possibly happen, as we already had Jinnie with Genie Dhassim and Jo with Genie Aaliyah. So would there be another Genie ready for more mischief? 

I was pleasantly surprised with this story, not only by Wilma being a force of nature, or Genie DJ, but also by how the author shows us that age truly is just a number. Because no matter what age Wilma is, she still deserves a shot at happiness and that she still has a lot of spirit in her. And we should never underestimate that spirit and force! 

As this is the last chapter of the series, it was wonderful to see how it all came to full circle. Even if the focus is on Wilma, we also see how Jinnie and Sam are doing, and also Jo (and Harvey) on a lower level.
Wilma is a known character, but with the main focus on her in this one, I appreciated her even more. Not only because of the wisdoms she likes to share, but also her quirkiness, her curiosity that gets the better hand and especially her unconditional love for her family. 

With this book I for sure had several laughs. Not only because of Wilma’s antics but also with DJ and his parents!
DJ has all the perks of his parents, and some of their weird mindsets, but we also see DJ is somehow ‘smarter’ than his parents combined. He finds it easier to adapt to ‘human’ life and understands when and especially when not use his powers. 

The story for sure lived up to its predecessors, adding even a more important level. Because we see that Wilma won’t let her age dictate her. Yes, she is aware of her age, but she still has so much life in her, and won’t just settle down, sit down and do nothing.
We see a woman of a certain age, acting even more vividly than people of a younger age. And that shows us that we shouldn’t hold back just because of our age.
There isn’t a limit on having fun and enjoying life, or even fall in love again.  

And that was even the funniest bit, seeing Wilma falling in love again, enjoying those moments, realizing to grab those wonderful bits. But on the other hand, we also see her acting a bit as a teenager, as I dare to say it, with giggles but also with almost ghosting the man she has fallen for. 

This was the perfect ending for a hilarious series. And the author gave rightfully Wilma her own spotlight, as her quirkiness, love for life and cheekiness for sure deserve their moment.
But like I said before, the author also shows us that age is in fact only a number and that we should all live our lives at the fullest, just like Wilma did and still is doing. Because even unexpected happiness can be found at any age.

Something to tease you with!

Synopsis

Clive Thompson heads for Whitley Bay caravan park to finish writing his novel. He’s never had a caravan holiday before and is warmly greeted by the manager, Liz Mathews, who lives on the park. She is single and cares for her ninety year old mother who has Alzheimer’s Disease. Clive meets the people in neighbouring caravans and has an amazing view from his veranda over the sea to St. Mary’s Lighthouse. However, Audrey goes missing during the night and Liz is beside herself with worry. The police are out looking for her, but disillusioned by their efforts, Clive begins his own investigations.

More info

I am a published author of eight novels and six novellas with short stories published in women’s UK magazines. I retired last year from Food Technology and scribble away in County Durham. My early work was ‘foodie-romance’ which mixed my knowledge of food with love stories. 

Four years ago, following the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival, I wrote six Curious Casefiles in which I incorporated up-to-date issues: poor mental health in a kidnap scene, the perils of social media, and an intruder on Skype. This collection was published by Northodox Press in January this year which is proving popular:

Meet Rupert Robbins, the author who goes missing and scarily lives out his own novel in real life. A lonely dentist, Gareth can see his wife is in danger on a Skype session – but will he get to her? Happen across our Sherlock lover, Christine who sleuths at a Murder-Mystery weekend and finds her writing buddies are not what they seem when a body is found. And here is Megan who learns the ups and downs of social media when she returns from Glastonbury. Enter, Deirdre a foundling in Durham City who is frantically searching for her birth mother, but will she find what she’s looking for? And finally, Jason who is obsessed with fake news and leading people up the garden path but will it all backfire on him? 

I have progressed to writing psychological suspense and cosy-crime novels with strong, lovable, Northeast characters. This is my passion now, and last year, I published, Clive’s Christmas Crusades, Clive Thompson Investigates I

Twenty-nine-year-old, Clive and his partner, Barbara have lived together for a year now. Clive works as a tour leader on trips around his beloved York City. When he finishes one of his favourite, murder-mystery treasure hunts, he pockets his tips but is mugged on the way home. Clive is enraged that someone could do this to him and sets out to successfully find the mugger himself. Knowing how it feels to be a victim of crime, and with Barbara by his side, Clive helps the community and neighbours fight back against pick-pocketers, burglars, and an on-line dating scam. 

This year, I took Clive on holiday and wrote, Death at the Caravan Park. Clive Thompson Investigates 11  

Clive Thompson heads for Whitley Bay caravan park to finish writing his novel. He’s never had a caravan holiday before and is warmly greeted by the manager, Liz Mathews, who lives on the park. She is single and cares for her ninety-year-old mother who has Alzheimer’s Disease. Clive meets the people in neighbouring caravans and has an amazing view from his veranda over the sea to St. Mary’s Lighthouse. However, Audrey goes missing during the night and Liz is beside herself with worry. The police are out looking for her, but disillusioned by their efforts, Clive begins his own investigations. 

Next year, Clive Thompson Investigates 111 will be published with the title, ‘Confession is Good for the Soul’ where Clive will undertake his final adventures in Harrogate. 

Clive, my bumbling amateur sleuth and self-published author begins a new job for a PI as his assistant and gets involved with deathbed confessional cases. Sergeant Riley confesses to shooting Private Jones during the war for cowardice. Jake Robinson confesses to drowning his sister when he was a teenager. Neil Robinson is mixed up with his twin, Nigel. And Michael Davies finds out that his own father started the housefire where the rest of his family died. Clive, and his good friend, Simon belong to a writing group at the library where you’ll find some very interesting characters. In the climax of the story, when Clive and Simon are caught up in a near-death situation, they are rescued mainly by the community pulling together and the heroic efforts of the PI.

To make an impossible choice…

Synopsis

When Stephanie is told she’s pregnant and that she is sick on the same day, she faces an impossible choice…

After trying for a baby for so long, finding out I was pregnant was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. But in the same breath as the news I had been waiting years to hear, the doctor told me I was seriously ill.

If I carry my baby to term, I will almost certainly die.

If I proceed with treatment, my baby will not live.

My husband – the father of this child – is telling me to save myself. But with all the secrets I know he is keeping from me, I can’t trust him anymore.

What would you do?

An emotional yet uplifting tear-jerker that will have you reaching for the tissues – perfect for fans of EMMA ROBINSON and JODI PICOULT.

My review

Stephanie has been trying to get pregnant for a long time. After several miscarriages, when she finally gets pregnant again, she and her husband James should be over the moon. Only if it weren’t for the fact that on the same day Stephanie is being told she is sick…
So sick that a choice must be made: to keep the baby, but Stephanie will die, or start treatment and lose the baby.
How can that choice be possible made? 

So… from the blurb it’s clear that this wouldn’t be an easy story to read. I can only try to imagine how it feels to have the world falling into pieces at a moment that should be the most amazing time of all. 

Just to be clear, I am not a mother myself, I have never been pregnant and I am even a long – time single woman.
But I have always had the wish to become a mother someday, like so many women have. And obviously also men, as they want to be a dad. 

Whenever we think about having a baby, we never think about how things could go wrong. Yes, we think about the morning sickness, or other issues that will pass eventually. But when did we ever stop to think about the worst case scenario?
What would you do if having the baby you dreamed of for so long, would be at the cost of your own life?
Or how can you decide to give up on something you dreamed of for so long, knowing the regret you will have? 

Stephanie’s story shows us that there is no right choice. Whatever choice you make, you lose. This isn’t the kind of book where you agree with one character and disagree with another one. I understood both Stephanie’s and James’ perspective.
And it saddened me to see how this strong couple is being torn apart by a cruel twist of fate…
Things don’t get any easier as Stephanie is being confronted with James’ secrets, a father in need and even an unwelcome return of someone who broke her heart…
But while it would be easy to see them all as antagonists, the author made the right decision to not make them villains, but victims too, of a life that doesn’t treat everyone fair. 

We see how Stephanie feels the world crashing down around her, and she sees how her decision is putting a distance between her and James.
But we also see determination in her choice, as she wants to protect her little Peanut even if it will cost her her own life. We see Stephanie being an amazing and wonderful mother, even before she ever held her little Peanut. 

From the start, this book made me think what I would do if I were in Stephanie’s shoes. And the answer is easy: I just don’t know…
How can you possibly know what you would do if you aren’t in that specific, terrible situation?
The more pages I swiped, the more I kept hoping that somehow a solution would be found so that Stephanie and James would have it all, without any heartbreak.
But obviously that isn’t how life goes, as there will be heartbreak anyway… 

Yet the ending was perfect as it shows us that (and I am truly trying to be spoiler – free here, but it’s not easy!) life doesn’t go as we imagine, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be even better than imagined. 

This book is filled with pain, yes, and yes, you will need tissues while reading. But it’s also filled with strength, determination, and wonderful hope. And we all know that hope dies last…