When helping out becomes a nightmare…

Synopsis

All I wanted was to help women become mothers. When I met Alice Monroe, we instantly connected. She was as passionate about motherhood as I was, and I couldn’t wait to support her through this life-changing experience.

But the day that should have been Alice’s happiest, turned into a nightmare. And after Alice’s dreams were shattered, she blamed me. Even though there was nothing I could have done, she wanted to ruin me. I lost my business, my reputation. My world fell apart.

Then, I discovered I was pregnant. That’s why we moved hundreds of miles away to the remote Derry countryside. Now, with this beautiful baby, we can have a fresh start.

But then Alice sends me a message. She knows where we are. And I realise, it doesn’t matter how far we’ve moved, I am not safe from her. My baby is not safe.

She would have been the perfect mother. But if she can’t have her happy family, she’s not going to let me have mine.

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My review

Mel built her career as a doula, with a desire to help out mother while giving birth. Until recently, everything went without a hitch. But with Alice, a year ago, it all went terribly wrong. Even if they quickly became close friends during Alice’s pregnancy, when it was time to deliver the baby, it turned out to be a big nightmare. After losing the baby, Alice started to blame Mel, and while Mel could understand that Alice needed someone to blame, Mel didn’t expect that Alice would ruin her career. And not only that, as Mel is now expecting too, she and her family have no other option to move away as far as possible from Alice and the nightmare they have been living through. Derry for sure seems far away enough and even if living in a camper while renovating their new home isn’t ideal, the young family is hoping for a fresh start. But rather quickly, Mel realizes that she can run but she cannot hide, as the nightmare seems to be starting all over again… And realization dawns that not only Mel isn’t safe, but neither is her unborn baby…

I am not a mother myself, or have I ever been pregnant. But I can imagine the thrill of feeling a baby inside you growing, and how you start imagining his/her life. And the joy of buying all those cute baby things! And obviously, as a caring mother, even when the baby isn’t there yet, you only want the best, as a before – care, as a during – care and as an aftercare.

I am not all that known into all that comes with pregnancy, and giving birth (beside what I know from school, tv and books obviously 😊). So I didn’t have a clear idea of what a doula truly does, and what the responsibilities are of such a person while giving birth.

Not having any kind of prejudice, perhaps allowed me to be more open-minded about it all, I don’t know. But for me it felt like any kind of help, the legal kind of help of course, as long as it helps, why not?

But I have to say that it felt a dangerous path learning how Mel and Alice were close friends. I don’t believe it’s a bad things to make new friends, but it’s a line crossed with being professional, as when things go badly, like it did with Alice, there is so much more at stake.

That doesn’t take away that Mel’s heart is at the right place, as she too is truly devastated hat happened during Alice’s delivery. Of course not to compare the pain Alice and Thomas are gong through, yet also Mel is devastated by the events…

After tragedy happened, I could also understand Alice and Thomas. Their loss is terrible and the need to blame someone is human. And in a twisted way, it made sense that they blamed Mel, even if it’s a case where nobody could do anything. And again, in a twisted way, I could understand, no that is not right, I could see why Alice went to make Mel the bad person. When hurt, angry and grieving, you do things without thinking clearly.

Despite everything Alice has put Mel through, I admired Mel. Because it would have been easy to respond, to start throwing dirt too. But Mel kept her decorum, stayed silent and let Alice just be. Even if that means that Mel has to move to Derry…

It angered me in a way to read how Mel is forced out of her hometown, to escape all the negativity but also to escape all the hate. Alice for sure hasn’t made things easy for her, as Mel saw no other option. Yet I liked it in a strange way to see how united her little family is, even how resilient they are all are.

But of course we know that things aren’t that easy, to just move. And it scared me also to see how Mel even at her new home isn’t feeling safe at all. How her past is haunting her once again, while all she wants is to live in peace and as happy as possible with a new baby boy on its way.

I for sure don’t want to be in Mel’s shoes in this story. Her nightmare just never stops, and it even brings everyone around her in danger too…

It must be terrifying, realizing that even your new home isn’t safe. Not only Mel doesn’t know who to trust, even I didn’t know which direction to look at. Because let me tell you this, the author for sure knows how to make you distrust just everyone. Even the most genuine of the people are suddenly acting suspicious. But there were also a few people that made me wary from the first moment.

The author adds several twists and turns in this book, and while just maybe I could already see where the story would go to, it never stopped me from being scared and terrified.

With this book we see how perhaps the most beautiful thing in the world has turned into the most terrifying one. And we see how you cannot trust anyone, not even the people that once were close to you…

That is indeed a terrifying thought, yet it’s exactly that thought that made me keep reading this book, as I just had to have all the answers to the questions not only I had, but also the questions that Mel and her family had…