To make up your own happiness, but how to?

Synopsis

A brilliant, beautiful story from the bestselling author of A Single Act of Kindness

How far would you go for a perfect life?

Back in her troubled school days, kind-hearted Violet always dreamed of a life where she was happy. Now it feels like she’s just about getting there. She has her dream job working with books, and she’s living with her handsome boyfriend, Lenny.

But when her relationship with Lenny falls to pieces and he moves out, Violet, hurt and alone, decides it’s time to really take her happiness in hand. With help from her new flatmate, Bella, she changes her image and takes control at work, ready to show the world that she doesn’t need Lenny in her life. And when she meets magnetic author Casey, she begins to wonder if all she needed all along was a makeover.

But – with Bella – all is not as it seems. And Violet too has a secret, one that dates right back to her childhood, which could change everything…

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW is a powerful story about friendship, trust, and taking control of your life while not being afraid to stand out. Perfect for fans of Shari Low, Milly Johnson and Colleen Hoover.

My review

Violet thought she had it all, as she loves the job she is doing, and her relationship with Lenny for sure is a steady. It took a lot for Violet to be this happy, as when growing up, she didn’t have an easy time at all. But Violet feels being back at Square One, when Lenny breaks up with her and is with someone more glamorous than Violet is or has been. Luckily she immediately clicks with her new housemate, Bella, who makes it her own personal mission to help Violet out. Not only does Bella help Violet to step outside her comfort zone, but she also helps Violet to get more in shape. And then Violet meets author Casey, who would for sure be a great name to sign a contract with. But Violet and Casey connect on a higher level, and it’s all thanks to the make – over Violet recently had, right?

I know that this author doesn’t always write the easiest of stories, where there is just a little glitch for the main characters that rather easily overcome them to just have a happily ever after in the end. But I was mentally prepared for a load of issues and struggles. Because after all, it’s after the lemons that lovely yet troubled characters can make a great lemonade.

And yet… while I initially liked Violet a lot, the more the story evolved and the more we saw of the present Violet… well, I have to be honest, right, the more I started to dislike this newer version of the main character.

Now, before you start to give me all the hate for disliking a main character, let me tell you that you have to read the book and that in fact then you will agree with me.

Because Violet starts as a great person, a lovely one, that perhaps has her own sense of fashion, but is generally liked and loved by anyone around her. Yes, it’s obvious that her relationship with Lenny isn’t that exciting anymore, but she still loves the man. Violet is also in many ways a normal woman, a woman that has been through a rough time in the past (will come back to this later on) and that hasn’t a lot of confidence…

Confidence that in fact she should have, because she is just an amazing person that, and I absolutely mean it as a compliment, isn’t perfect. Why should we mirror ourselves with others? Why isn’t being ‘just’ us enough? Why should we change ourselves for others?

And those changes made me from liking Violet, to disliking her. Of course, after her break – up, it’s understandable that Violet wants to make some changes. Don’t we all need to start afresh after heartbreak? And I could even understand Violet wanting to show Lenny what he has let slipping through his fingers by showing the new Violet.

But it needs to be said, that I felt a nasty feeling in my gut reading how Bella, the new housemate was behaving and bossing Violet around. There is nothing wrong with helping someone but there is also taking things too far… While initially I liked it how Violet has someone in her corner, pushing out her comfort zone, the more Violet changed, the more it was clear it has to do with Bella’s influence, and not a good way.

I understood that Violet needed someone in her corner, especially after getting to know more about Violet’s past…

Growing up isn’t easy, any child has its own learning curve to go through. But Violet for sure had the extra hard…

And my heart for sure went out to this little girl, who has loved and has been loved by her family. Even if her being just her and her mother, their little family made it work, especially with the help of her beloved Uncle Kevin, who is so important in her life.

With having those flashbacks, and reading some devastating events, it made it easier to understand present Olivia. And reading how her important friendship back then was and how it ended, made it easier to understand her current friendships and relations.

Yes, in this book, there is also something to say about her love interest, being author Casey. And while it was lovely to see Violet letting someone in her heart again, not without any serious bump in the road there too, for me, it wasn’t about Violet finding someone new in her life again. But it was more about Violet finding Violet again, and accepting who Violet truly is.

I was a bit surprised with some revelations in this book, although not completely, as I felt there was something kept in the dark. And it made me see so much vulnerability, so much pain. It made me understand that behind perhaps some not so nice actions and behaviour, can be hidden something nobody sees. Something that is important to understand and offer the much needed support.

I liked it how Samantha Tonge wrote a story that isn’t easy. She handles many subjects that are often rather being shut down, let to handle on your own. But with this story, we see yes how easy it is to fall down a rabbit hole, making mistakes, but also how important it is to understand that getting up is possible. And it won’t happen just overnight, but it takes time, love and acceptance, even acceptance of your own weaknesses. Only then, you can grow strong again and truly find your own happiness…