To refind the city of/ you love, to refind yourself, to refind more too?

Synopsis

Every moment of your life is a second chance…

Thirty years ago, Kitty Collins was a confident, carefree fashion history student living her best life in Paris. But then Tomas Laurent broke her heart and she retreated back to England.

A year later, Kitty’s a married stay-at-home mum and those big hopes and dreams have been replaced by nappy changes, school runs and dinner parties for her husband’s Academia colleagues.

Now 50 and recently divorced, Kitty is empowered to embrace single life and finally makes plans with Sasha, her daughter, to return to the city that stole her heart to move forward with her life.

But when a chance encounter awakens feelings she’d forgotten she had Kitty begins to wonder whether the ghosts of Paris should be left in the past.

With the help of old friends and new friends, can Kitty discover the woman she’s supposed to be and fall in love with the City of Light once more?

My review

At the age of fifty, Kitty recently divorced from her academic husband. A divorce is never easy, but hers is rather amicable and there still is a mutual respect and of course the love they both have for their daughter. Perhaps the life Kitty had, isn’t the life she envisioned as a young woman. Because once upon a time Kitty used to be a confident, carefree fashion history student, enjoying life and love in Paris with Tomas Laurent. Until Tomas broke her heart and she returned back to England. Being free to do as she wants, Kitty not only decided to celebrate her fiftieth in Goa with daughter Sasha, even making a new friend that persuades her to visit back the city she used to love, Paris. Empowered and ready to find herself again, Kitty decides to spend some time in the city that made her lose her heart. And with new and old friends, Kitty may find not only herself again, but even more?

Perhaps the main character in this book, Kitty, cannot be further away from myself. Not only is she more than a decade older than me, she is also a mother and has been married. But also, as a young woman, she has been studying and living in Paris, while I never left the comfort of my own country for a longer period.

It is clear that the young Kitty and the Kitty of now couldn’t be more different. Of course time has passed, and you mature, you change not only because you get wiser, but also because the turn life takes. And it is obvious that what happened in Paris with Kitty all those years ago, changed Kitty.

Kitty has become a more subdued, plainer version of the woman she used to be. It even felt for me, that when she got her heart broken in Paris, she just settled and stopped following truly her heart and her passions. Not that she has been living a life that she regrets now, but it is obvious that she has lost herself in all those passing years.

The story starts with her and Sasha being together in Goa, celebrating Kitty’s birthday and fulfilling one of her dreams. I was a bit surprised reading how easily especially Sasha just befriends everyone, being too trusty even? Of course, her open character is what makes Sasha her unique self, but I don’t think I would act in the same way Sasha does. But of course, that makes Kitty also become close friends with someone she meets there.

And I liked seeing how her new friend makes her understand that a broken heart in Paris means that she should also stop loving Paris. With her new friend, Kitty finds the courage to return to the place that she used to love.

It is in a way courageous, because Kitty isn’t just going on a short city trip, but she want to stay in Paris for a longer time. And I could understand that, because it is not only that she needs to fall in love with Paris again, but she also needs to fall in love with herself again.

Now, I need to say, Paris is a lovely city, but it is also a big city. So I found it a bit hard to believe how she just bumped into her old friend. But on the other hand, it also serendipity, as that encounter would be in fact what Kitty truly needs, for both her past, her present and her future.

I liked seeing Kitty’s confidence grow the further the story evolved. With her old and new friends, she comes out of that shell she has been for far too long. It was sweet how those friends (still) could see the real Kitty, the Kitty that desperately needs to emerge quickly.

That is the also the strength of this book, because with friends and their confidence in you can make you make self-confident and more courageous, to make choices that just a short ago you would be scared to be taking.

Of course Paris wouldn’t be the City of Love without some romance in it.

Just like young Kitty, I was rather disappointed in young Tomas and his behaviour and lack of courage and responsibility. But I could also understand the pressure he was on, and not being able to pursue his own dreams.

Yet the Tomas of now for sure has grown. Yes, he has made mistakes in the past but somehow also found a way to make his big dream come true. And even if he has achieved it, he still has regrets about the past…

Perhaps I would have liked to see more about Tomas and his own growth, but the focus was righteously so on Kitty. Because she has to go through the biggest growth in this book. She has to learn to grow confident again, to learn to love and like herself again, and to trust herself again.

And that is the important message of this beautiful story. Life can throw you curveballs, and life doesn’t always go as expected. And that can make you change yourself. But it is important to always be your real self. And if you have lost yourself, it is important to find yourself again. Because you are amazing, you are confident and you are more than good enough!