So hard to explain what I felt…

Synopsis

Deceit has a certain allure when your life doesn’t match up to the ideal of what it means to be a modern man. 

Tom’s lost his job and now he’s been labelled ‘spermless‘. He doesn’t exactly feel like a modern man, although his double life helps. Yet when his secret identity threatens to unravel, he starts to lose the plot and comes perilously close to the edge.

All the while Adam has his own duplicity, albeit for very different reasons, reasons which will blow the family’s future out of the water.

If they can’t be honest with themselves, and everyone else, then things are going to get a whole lot more complicated.

This book tackles hard issues such as male depression, dysfunctional families and degenerative diseases in an honest, life-affirming and often humorous way. It focuses particularly on the challenges of being male in today’s world and explores how our silence on these big issues can help push men to the brink.

My review

When Tom loses his job, he is sure he will find a new one straight away. So what’s the point in telling his wife Siri (FYI, Siri is just a nickname 😀 )?
But when a job isn’t so easily found, Tom doesn’t find the courage to tell Siri what is really going on. So instead of coming clean, he keeps up his charade and pretends to go to work each day while truly he is going to a bar spending the while day there drinking coffee.

On top of losing his job, he finds out he is infertile. So now creating a so much wanted family is also out of the picture.

All these events make Tom believe he is useless and slides into a depression. So he decides he doesn’t want to live anymore, so he won’t be a burden anymore.

And when his brother in law is behaving not like himself, the worries even become more.

“Pffff….”, that was my initial thought after having read the last words of this book. This is not a story to take lightly.
Depressions isn’t something to be underestimated. And how the whole situation has been described, and how Tom feels, are so accurate (not that I know how a depression feels) and explain so well what Tom is going through…

And not only Tom his feelings, but also the feelings of the people around him… The people who care want to help him, but they realize it’s not so easy as it seems.

This is a story about real people, with all their imperfections, trying to stand up to the high standards of society. And when you are not able to fulfill the requirements, it’s you who is not right, pushing you in a downward spiral…

This story makes you realize that often people are just playing a role, and hide their true feelings. But it also makes you realize that asking for help (even professional help) is not something to be ashamed of.

With all the heavy emotions, there are even some funny moments, making it possible to take a breath and make you smile.

A recommendation to truly understand what effects depression can have on a person and his environment. But also a realization that to overcome it is a real option!