To make an impossible choice…

Synopsis

When Stephanie is told she’s pregnant and that she is sick on the same day, she faces an impossible choice…

After trying for a baby for so long, finding out I was pregnant was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. But in the same breath as the news I had been waiting years to hear, the doctor told me I was seriously ill.

If I carry my baby to term, I will almost certainly die.

If I proceed with treatment, my baby will not live.

My husband – the father of this child – is telling me to save myself. But with all the secrets I know he is keeping from me, I can’t trust him anymore.

What would you do?

An emotional yet uplifting tear-jerker that will have you reaching for the tissues – perfect for fans of EMMA ROBINSON and JODI PICOULT.

My review

Stephanie has been trying to get pregnant for a long time. After several miscarriages, when she finally gets pregnant again, she and her husband James should be over the moon. Only if it weren’t for the fact that on the same day Stephanie is being told she is sick…
So sick that a choice must be made: to keep the baby, but Stephanie will die, or start treatment and lose the baby.
How can that choice be possible made? 

So… from the blurb it’s clear that this wouldn’t be an easy story to read. I can only try to imagine how it feels to have the world falling into pieces at a moment that should be the most amazing time of all. 

Just to be clear, I am not a mother myself, I have never been pregnant and I am even a long – time single woman.
But I have always had the wish to become a mother someday, like so many women have. And obviously also men, as they want to be a dad. 

Whenever we think about having a baby, we never think about how things could go wrong. Yes, we think about the morning sickness, or other issues that will pass eventually. But when did we ever stop to think about the worst case scenario?
What would you do if having the baby you dreamed of for so long, would be at the cost of your own life?
Or how can you decide to give up on something you dreamed of for so long, knowing the regret you will have? 

Stephanie’s story shows us that there is no right choice. Whatever choice you make, you lose. This isn’t the kind of book where you agree with one character and disagree with another one. I understood both Stephanie’s and James’ perspective.
And it saddened me to see how this strong couple is being torn apart by a cruel twist of fate…
Things don’t get any easier as Stephanie is being confronted with James’ secrets, a father in need and even an unwelcome return of someone who broke her heart…
But while it would be easy to see them all as antagonists, the author made the right decision to not make them villains, but victims too, of a life that doesn’t treat everyone fair. 

We see how Stephanie feels the world crashing down around her, and she sees how her decision is putting a distance between her and James.
But we also see determination in her choice, as she wants to protect her little Peanut even if it will cost her her own life. We see Stephanie being an amazing and wonderful mother, even before she ever held her little Peanut. 

From the start, this book made me think what I would do if I were in Stephanie’s shoes. And the answer is easy: I just don’t know…
How can you possibly know what you would do if you aren’t in that specific, terrible situation?
The more pages I swiped, the more I kept hoping that somehow a solution would be found so that Stephanie and James would have it all, without any heartbreak.
But obviously that isn’t how life goes, as there will be heartbreak anyway… 

Yet the ending was perfect as it shows us that (and I am truly trying to be spoiler – free here, but it’s not easy!) life doesn’t go as we imagine, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be even better than imagined. 

This book is filled with pain, yes, and yes, you will need tissues while reading. But it’s also filled with strength, determination, and wonderful hope. And we all know that hope dies last…