When home holds many painful memories, but you have to return

Synopsis

Beth never planned to return to Llancariad—or to see Rhys again.

Beth Alden hasn’t been home in years. The small seaside village of Llancariad holds too many painful memories, but when her mother suffers a fall, she has no choice but to go home. 

As Beth settles back into life in North Wales, she’s forced to confront how much time has passed and how much her mother needs her. While trying to save the family’s struggling campsite, Beth’s past catches up with her, stirring her anxiety and reminding her why she left.

Then Rhys Howell, her childhood best friend and first kiss, offers to help.

Rhys has never forgotten Beth or the kiss that changed everything. As they work together to revive the campsite, their friendship reignites, along with feelings he’s spent years trying to ignore. But while Rhys can imagine their future together, Beth is adamant she must go back to her life in the city.

Can Beth find the courage to stay, or will she run back to London, breaking both their hearts?

Tropes 

• Friends to lovers

• Dual POV

• Small Town Romance

• Forced Proximity 

• Anxiety 

• Childhood bullying trauma

• He Falls First

• Always Been You

• Closed Door

My review

Growing up in Llancariad hasn’t always been easy for Beth Alden. Not only was her move to London an escape from her bullies, but also from her best friend who broke her heart, Rhys. But when her mother has a fall, Beth has to return to the small seaside village in North Wales. Not only does Beth realize how much her mother needs her help, but also how in dire need of help the family’s campsite is. And let’s not forget about being back home stirs back many painful memories. Memories that come back very easily as Rhys is always there to help out, something he already did while Beth was in London. As Beth and Rhys are spending more and more time together on the campsite, for Rhys it makes resurface old feelings he had for Beth. But for Beth it means anxiety rising yet also wondering where she truly belongs.

There are many books in the world where the main character for one reason or another has to return back home, but where ‘home’ is a place that holds some painful memories. So it is up to the author to write a story that doesn’t sound repetitive or feels for the reader as a dime a dozen. And for me being the first read of this author, well, I had my fingers crossed that it wouldn’t be that case!

At the start of the book, reading how long it has been that Beth visited her mother in Llancariad, it would be easy to judge Beth. Because it is clear that she loves her mother deeply, so is it truly that hard to pay a visit now and then?

But it is always easy to judge someone, when we don’t have the full picture of what happened in the past, isn’t it?

Because to say it a little bit cruel, it isn’t that Beth is living a happy life in London either. She is struggling from temp job to temp job, is sharing a flat with other. And not even the best kind of flats…  So for her not returning quickly to Llancariad must mean that she is truly traumatized…

I could feel Beth’s trepidation arriving back home and it saddened me. Because coming back home should feel like having a warm blanket around you, coming back home should make you feel safe. And for Beth, it is the complete opposite.

Yet it is so clear that the love between mother and daughter is great. And even when Beth’s father was still alive, there was nothing but love in this family. And we also see further along, that a mother always knows her children, even when there things being kept hidden.

Obviously, if Beth wouldn’t go through an emotional journey, or even an emotional rollercoaster, it would have been strange. Luckily, that is exactly what Beth goes through in this book.

At the start, she literally walks with her head down through the village, avoiding meeting people’s gaze, starting conversations. The quicker she can leave a place, the better.

And slowly, we see how she starts to stand taller, not being scared that much anymore and not have any kind of feelings of shame, fear,…

Of course, if it would be an easy path Beth would take, it wouldn’t be realistic. But here we see how with baby steps you can go a long way. And with the support of friends and family, with their understanding and patience, with their view of things, how Beth becomes more assertive in life.

I liked it also how her feelings, her emotions, her anxiety aren’t treated as just a little thing. The author makes sure that the readers understand that there is nothing wrong with feeling how Beth did and does, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking help.

Beth has to face her past, her bullies, but also the person that used to be her best friend at the time, Rhys. And I was very curious to learn what had transpired between the pair, because they used to be the best kind of friends, and suddenly they weren’t…

And I have to admit, if you see the incident on its own, you would perhaps think that Beth overreacted, but you have to keep the bigger picture in mind, what Beth has been through and had to face. And then you can only understand Beth her reaction.

So of course for me her initial response toward Rhys makes sense. Of course Beth wouldn’t be over the moon to see Rhys again, especially seeing how important he has become for Beth’s mother too, as he is always around to help.

I could also see how Beth would believe that she is expandable, that she has been replaced by Rhys. Not that Beth has truly been replaced, but living all the way in London, Beth cannot just come over when Carys has an issue that needs to be solved.

It was sweet in a way, but also hard work, seeing the determination that Beth has to bring the campsite back to its former glory, especially as it was something her father was truly proud of.

Of course that is the perfect way for Beth and Rhys getting closer again, to clear the air and restore their friendship. And reading those bits, truly warmed my heart. Obviously it was also a bit sad reading how both characters are a bit fearful of truly exposing their emotions, no matter what those are.

Yet they used to be friends for a reason, and that friendship is so strong that even all the tests of time and events cannot truly break it. Working together, spending so much time together brings that old friendship back forward.

I was also curious to read how that relationship would evolve, not only if Beth and Rhys would find the courage to express what they are truly feeling, but also if they are able to put the past behind them and even look or at least think about their future.

While I started reading this book with some trepidation and a little bit of fear, I found myself devouring this book. Because I fell in love with Beth, who is a character that is so realistic, has been through things that we all recognize or have been through ourselves. But the growth she goes through, the understanding she is having, is truly admirable and heartwarming.

I can only end by saying that I loved this book and I cannot wait to read the other books of this author! 😊